The Kite-Eating Tree prefer you keep your Peanuts jokes to your damn self, and partly agree that America is presently under the evil hand of satan. Their debut, method: fail; repeat..., is available now on Cowboy vs. Sailor. Lead vocal / guitarist Michael Hunter and guitar / vocalist Thomas Ackerman let the opinions roll.. .. .

+ Is there ANY talent in The Strokes? TOM: There must be... can millions of people be wrong? MIKE: No. Just lots of ambition. Most spoiled rich kids would never take the time to (almost) learn an instrument. I don't know why they feel compelled to be in a rock band. Their trust funds more than cover the cost of whatever drugs and ass they might need.

+ Where do you currently call home, and what makes it the place you love to be? TOM: I live in North Hollywood. I would not say that it is the place I love to be, but it works for now. MIKE: Silverlake. People here really know how to take care of their yards.

+ You can live rent-free in any city in the US, where would you pack & head to and why? TOM: NYC. For the adventure... MIKE: NYC. I fucking hate cars. The thought of a life without owning one is majestic.

+ Bush, Kerry or Nader? TOM: I wanted Clark. I'll settle for Kerry. Nader is probably the best person for the job, but I wouldn't waste my vote on him. MIKE: Anyone but Bush. Although he has pissed off the rest of the world so badly that whoever replaces him will be fucked from the word go.

+ is there any particular band/artist you know of & love that we the people should invest more time in hearing? TOM: Aloha. Matt Pond PA. Mock Orange. No Knife. The Valley Arena. Kane Hodder. MIKE: Hasselhoff (the band, not the German pop star)

+ Mac or PC? TOM: PC MIKE: Mac

+ Is there ANY talent in The Darkness? TOM: There certainly is a lot of ambition and hyperbole. MIKE: Yes. They make me smile.

+ What was the last show (other than your own band) you attended? TOM: Coheed & Cambria @ Spaceland. Free show... MIKE: Same

+ Which band would you most cherish a reunion of (any band, whether members are alive or not)? TOM: Can't really think of any bands that I wanted to see and didn't. Anybody older (like Zeppelin) would be a farce. MIKE: Reunions=bad. I boycott all of them, with one exception. The Bauhaus reunion was the bomb ass pussy!

The Kite-Eating Tree: Thomas Camarda [drums], Trent Steinbrugge [bass], Thomas D. Ackerman [guitar / vocals] & Michael Hunter [vocals/guitar]

+ What was the first tape / album / cd you heard that made you realize music was where you needed to be? TOM: Jane's Addiction "Nothing's Shocking", Nirvana "Bleach" and Fugazi "13 Songs". I got them all in my freshman year at college and it made me feel like I could do this [make punk rock] as well. MIKE: Jawbox "Novelty", Swervedriver "Raise", Smashing Pumpkins "Gish"-these records made me buy a guitar

+ Is the "low-carb revolution" out of control? TOM: I think the marketing of it is. It is a sensible way to eat, but Americans are so into the idea that a diet will make them healthier. Weight loss is 75% exercise. There's no cheating that. MIKE: It is complete horseshit! Wanna lose weight? DON'T EAT SO MUCH FUCKING FOOD! That is all.

+ IS Mel Gibson a good man? TOM: who cares? MIKE: As the great Patrick Swayze said in the classic action extravaganza, Road House... "Opinions vary."

+ What question do you get asked the most that you feel should be erased from all human thought? TOM: "How did you guys meet?" I mean, how else? Probably through friends, school, or the local music classifieds. I think maybe 1 out of 100 times there is actually an interesting anecdote for that question, and then it's just a spin of one of those three: friends, school, music paper. MIKE: "Do you have an extra cigarette?" No fuckface, there's only 20 in this pack.

+ If you've been keeping up with your press, what band have you been compared to and said "what the fuck?" TOM: We got Pearl Jam once and Stabbing Westward another time. I just assumed they were trying to be insulting because I don't hear either at all. I'm never surprised by being insulting, just stunned by how unimaginative the shots are. These same people are the ones that on the school bus in the "bagging" contest would start shit and then end up crying... MIKE: Pearl Jam was pretty funny I thought. There was also a Filter comparison. I have no response to that.

+ Does Oprah HAVE to be on the cover of her magazine O all the time? TOM: It does have her name on the cover. It's her ball and she can play quarterback if she wants to. Is it ok to say I liked her better when she was fat? Same with Christina Ricci... MIKE: The collective psyche of the Oprah fan base is extremely fragile. If you go and just put whoever the fuck on the cover they might forget what the O stands for and quit buying the rag. Next thing you know Oprah's net worth has plummetted to a mere 850 million.

(stolen Q splendid) We're considering lobbying the government to pass a law banning the use of certain overplayed words --for example, "new", "flaming" and "electric" -- in band names. What other word(s) should be banned? TOM: The words "Love" or "God" should never be in a band name. Nowadays, the word "the" has gotten out of hand as well. MIKE: Anyone who puts the name of a girl in their band name should be flogged in the public square.

+ Best band name of ALL TIME: TOM: Tom Jones. Or maybe Neil Diamond. So clever... MIKE: The Presidents of the United States of America

+ Photo shoot - film or digital? TOM: Film for arty/glamour stuff, digital for naughty internet photos... MIKE: I don't take pictures. Ever.

+ Is it swift to pay $15 for 15 songs from napster now that major hands have control? Is it to make us feel less guilty or make the fat man fatter? MIKE: Napster? Unless you hand cash directly to the guys in the band, there is a fat man somewhere, getting something.

+ So, is home taping "killing the music industry"? TOM: I sure hope so. "Home taping?" Do they still call it that? I think right there you have the perfect anecdote for the music industry's inability to embrace technology. MIKE: Clearly the new cassette tape format as it's called will put an end to vinyl record sales. From what I'm led to believe, not only can these "cassettes" be used to record songs off of AM AND FM radio but they even have "dual cassette decks" that allow copies of the tapes to be made in your very own home. Clearly, the music industry is finished.

+ What scares you? TOM: The possibility of kidney stones. I drink a lot of soda... MIKE: 4 more years of the Rumsfeld-Ashcroft Axis of Evil.

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